Don’t let a bully negotiate who you are. Be a part of something that is important and be honest about how you feel. Standing your ground with a bully takes courage. Be open about what you value. It takes real bravery to stand alone and be alone when it appears the crowd is following another path.
Everyone has inside them a piece of good news. The good news is you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is. -Anne Frank
We want to continue to grow and improve especially in the face of tough times. As Winston Churchill said, “To improve is to change. To be perfect is to change often. Those who never change their minds, never change anything. To lead change, we must start with ourselves first.” Recognizing our emotions on a challenging day will gather strength in you and lead to positive change as the video by Psych2go.net explains.
Humility Is Not Thinking Less of Yourself But It’s Thinking Of Yourself Less-CS Lewis
The fact that you have taken the time to learn more about overcoming being bullied, you know you matter. Don’t diminish what you do and your value to this world. Difficult times will come but they will pass and a brighter day will shine through. Focus on what you can control in your life and take steps each day to make the lives of others bright. A purpose in life, even small efforts each day to make someone else feel valued, will build your confidence in yourself. You’ve taken the first step today. Watch this amazing video by Hannah Grace Spangler and recognize you are not alone in your self doubt but you can overcome.
Validation is approval from others. Self-esteem is approval from yourself. Never sacrifice your self-esteem to gain validation. Validation is easily regained once lost. Self-esteem is not. -Mark Manson
Author Mark Manson asks, “In what ways have you sacrificed your self-respect in favor of validation from others?” Mark Manson asks if you are sacrificing for this relationship to the point where you are allowing yourself to be disrespected? Self-esteem is very hard to get back once lost. In your current relationship, do you respect your partner and do they respect you? Do you share the same values? Is there trust and open communication where you listen to one another and feel safe communicating each others truth? Love isn’t a feeling it’s a decision. Romantic love feelings are unreliable. You might not feel loving on a particular day but once you decide to love your partner, you have made a love decision and your behavior is reliable and set. Physical attraction may fade over time and romantic love will ebb and flow. You and your partner have to make a love decision so that the relationship lasts the test of time in a healthy way where you both are elevated by being together.
I Think Ageing Is An Extraordinary Process Whereby You Become The Person You Always Should’ve Been-David Bowie
How do we go from feeling powerless in life to feeling powerful? How do we learn to believe in ourselves and gain confidence? How do we not let others define us and bring us down? How do we find the courage to be our true selves? Emily Jaenson’s TEDxTALK describes the steps she took to increase her confidence and be the anti-bully by celebrating others successes and growth as well as her own.
Be Curious, Not Judgemental-American Poet Walt Whitman
Be a person that wants to learn about other people. Ask questions, don’t be fault finding. Stride to be a person that isn’t critical of others. Bullies are judgy people. Bullies aren’t interested in learning others stories and motivators. See this awesome scene from the TV Show Ted Lasso on how to be the Anti-bully by being curious.
When A Toxic Person Comes Into Your Space, Do You Notice All Of A Sudden You Are Out of Balance, Unsettled, Not Your Self And Trying To Compensate For This Person? There’s Nothing You Can Do To Make This Person Happy With You.
Avoid Toxic Relationships by recognizing Manipulation and Gaslighting. When someone’s words don’t match their action equals Manipulation. Refusing to be held accountable for those words or actions is Gaslighting. Recognize Toxic People: As Maya Angelou said, the first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don’t talk yourself into unseeing what they showed you. If you allow the behavior to continue, it will continue. Be grateful that what is happening in your relationship, is trying to teach you something about finding your value in this world and not allowing others to steal your light.
Be A Friend To Make A Friend
Build your self esteem by doing for others. If you’re like me and shy, get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself out there. Volunteer at a cause you believe in. Travel some where alone, even if it’s just a place nearby. Join a new group. Above all, be kind because kindness changes everything. All you need is one true friend, a person who has your back whenever you need an embrace. A friend can be your relative, neighbor, teacher, boy or girl. What matters is that you are there for them in their times of need and they will be there for you. Become a better listener than talker. You learn by listening. If you are truly interested in sharing the same soul with someone, you will find your friend and be one together. See Steve Harman’s Kindness 101 episode on Friendship.