For growth, for you as a human being, do things that take you out of your comfort zone. Travel somewhere alone. Work or volunteer at an organization that has values you admire. Movement changes your mood. Maybe start by taking a walk or going for a jog. Try dancing in your kitchen or calling a friend. Action can help you see things more clearly and motivate you to live more fully. Be brave and get started by finding your courage.
The Secret of Happiness is Freedom & the Secret of Freedom is Finding Your Courage to Be Brave Alone-Denzel Washington
In every relationship, every person will show you who they are when you give them time. Whether in your family, dating, at work or in friendships, recognize these people before you turn over your power to them. See this awesome short video by jimmy_on_relationships and go no contact with the Narcissist. You cannot change anyone but yourself.
The Problem Isn’t You. The Problem is the Power You Unknowingly Give To Other People. When You Stop Seeking Validation, Approval or Permission From Others, You Take Back Control Of Your Life-Mel Robbins
Humility Is Not Thinking Less of Yourself But It’s Thinking Of Yourself Less-CS Lewis
The fact that you have taken the time to learn more about overcoming being bullied, you know you matter. Don’t diminish what you do and your value to this world. Difficult times will come but they will pass and a brighter day will shine through. Focus on what you can control in your life and take steps each day to make the lives of others bright. A purpose in life, even small efforts each day to make someone else feel valued, will build your confidence in yourself. You’ve taken the first step today. Watch this amazing video by Hannah Grace Spangler and recognize you are not alone in your self doubt but you can overcome.
I Think Ageing Is An Extraordinary Process Whereby You Become The Person You Always Should’ve Been-David Bowie
How do we go from feeling powerless in life to feeling powerful? How do we learn to believe in ourselves and gain confidence? How do we not let others define us and bring us down? How do we find the courage to be our true selves? Emily Jaenson’s TEDxTALK describes the steps she took to increase her confidence and be the anti-bully by celebrating others successes and growth as well as her own.
Be A Friend To Make A Friend
Build your self esteem by doing for others. If you’re like me and shy, get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself out there. Volunteer at a cause you believe in. Travel some where alone, even if it’s just a place nearby. Join a new group. Above all, be kind because kindness changes everything. All you need is one true friend, a person who has your back whenever you need an embrace. A friend can be your relative, neighbor, teacher, boy or girl. What matters is that you are there for them in their times of need and they will be there for you. Become a better listener than talker. You learn by listening. If you are truly interested in sharing the same soul with someone, you will find your friend and be one together. See Steve Harman’s Kindness 101 episode on Friendship.
Hurt People, Hurt People. Be Unpredictable. Do Good To Those Who Mistreat You. Do You Want To Waste Your Energy On Someone You Don’t Like? You Don’t Get Ahead By Getting Even. At The End Of This Relationship, What Is The Story You Want To Tell? By: Andy Stanley
By Carolyn Hax: When at a Crossroad in Life: Will anything change? Can I accept that? Should I accept that? Then, find your COURAGE, by Anne Sexton
It is in the small things we see it, the child’s first step, as awesome as an earthquake. The first time you rode a bike wallowing up the sidewalk. The first spanking when your heart went on a journey all alone. When they called you cry baby or poor or fatty or crazy and made you into an an alien. You drank their acid and concealed it. Later if you faced the death of bombs and bullets, you did not do it with a banner, you did it with only a hat to cover your heart. You did not fondle the weakness inside you though it was there. Your courage was a small coal you kept swallowing. If your buddy saved you and died himself in so doing, then his courage was not courage it was love; love as simple as shaving soap. Later, if you have endured great despair then you did it alone, getting a transfusion from the fire, picking the scabs off your heart. Then wringing it out like a sock. Next my kinsman, you powdered your sorrow, you gave it a back rub and then covered it with a blanket and after it had slept a while it woke to the wings of the roses and was transformed. Later, when you face old age and its natural conclusion your courage will still be shown in the little ways, each spring will be a sword you’ll sharpen, those you love will live in a fever of love, and you’ll bargain with the calendar and at the last moment when death opens the back door you’ll put on your carpet slippers and stride out.
When A Bully Can No Longer Control You, They Will Instead Try To Control How Others See You
Have you ever had the bully in your life welcome a new person into their group? You’re confused, why are they acting all nice to this new person when they are so unkind to you. They’re holding this person’s hand, that’s weird. It’s manipulation, trying to get others on their side. He’s so nice to new people, he couldn’t really be a bully with a plan. The plan is to confuse the bully’s victims. Innocent and kind people are not stupid. They just think everyone has a good heart. Whether the bully is mean to you behind closed doors or right out in the open, they gain power by getting others on their side. Behind your back, the bully will try to change people’s minds about you. They will tell lies about you or mock you in front of people they are trying to control. Others are afraid of the bully or buy into their fake disguise, so they won’t come to your defense. You can’t control others behavior or how other people feel. You can only change YOUR reaction to negative thoughts which is called Cognitive Defusion. An example, I’m having the thought that the Bully is making me feel like a loser. Just because I’m thinking that thought doesn’t mean that it is true. Instead, think the thought, “what would a kind friend say about me” so that you buy into a good thought about yourself not the thought the bully is trying to put on you. See this video from Therapy in a Nutshell titled, “Intrusive Thoughts and Overthinking: The Skill of Cognitive Fusion 20/30” to learn how to stop getting stuck in negative thoughts about yourself.
See The Bully As An Opportunity For You to Grow Your Resilience Muscle and Reframe Situation
Heather R. Younger wrote an article about the power of reframing our current situation to see the brighter side. Reframe is to see a situation in a new way that is more positive for us. If the bully is rejecting you, making you feel smaller by being unheard and unimportant, see this challenge as an opportunity to grow and become larger and more confident. By building your confidence in yourself, by taking actions that will make you feel stronger against the bully, you will “reframe” your current situation and grow your resilience muscle. Kirk Duncan’s video gives specific action you can take on How To Stop Someone From Bullying You.