Both Narcissists and Sociopaths show up in all lines of work. Sociopaths are narcissistic but not all Narcissists are Sociopaths. Meetings & office parties like a Narcissist since they keep the conversation going, they’re loud. They talk about themselves & like to use mute during conference calls to control conversation. Narcs are unaware how their unintentional bullying is effecting others, so relationships end badly. Narcs feel like a victim at work when actions aren’t appreciated due to their poor emotional skills. A Sociopath wants to win at work, so they are cunning and long game strategic. A Sociopath may exclude a target from a meeting. Use manipulation to get out of work, lie and thwart others to get what they want at work. Sociopaths are aware of their desire to have power and win over others. See Dr. Ramani Medcircle.com video on the difference.
Self Esteem=Act Helpful and Be Thankful
Studies show, that people who have the most happiness, choose to be happy through their thoughts and then actions. Self esteem comes from esteem acts. Helping and connecting with someone else, will help you feel more positive. Identifying opportunities where you can grow by being vulnerable is crucial to moving past a challenging situation. Put yourself out there. Do something that isn’t comfortable, that you might not be good at, you will remember was a time of self-esteem building in you. Each day focusing on something that you are thankful for is powerful. Neil Pasricha’s Ted Talk is an awesome video on being your authentic self and focusing on the positive.
Changing Your Thoughts
Mel Robbins at melrobbins.com has a 5 second rule for changing your negative thought patterns and moving forward. Mel also talks about logging your negative thoughts and having you recognize how that thought gave you a bad feeling. Were you feeling controlled by someone’s words or actions & how did you react? Was the thought distorted? Then change your thought with a more helpful thought instead. If your thought is, “I’m always criticized,” instead think, “I’m not going to let this thought slow me down today.”
You cannot change a Sociopath/Psychopath
Sociopaths/Psychopaths have the mental condition of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Some Overt Sociopaths are easy to spot: Hate group members, Mafia & gang leader ties, dictators, cult leaders, pedophiles. Some are covert; they appear charming and successful. In the book, The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout, Ph.d., 1 in 25 Americans has no conscience and can do anything to gain power over people without feeling guilty, a Sociopath. Most domestic abusers are either Narcissistic or Sociopathic. Noemi Maritnez says, “A Man With No Conscience, No Goodness, Does Not Suffer. ” You should not argue with them, they are expert manipulators and will make you look bad to make themselves appear good. They lie. They will align people against you & isolate their victims to control them. See this You Tube Video on The Best Way of Dealing With A Sociopath.
Empathy vs. Entitlement
The hallmark traits of those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Sociopaths are they lack empathy for others and feel entitled. Empathy is the desire to understand emotions of someone else, to respond to that person and then be self reflective. How will this person feel if I say or do that? An entitled person believes they deserve special treatment and are arrogant about it. Obvious examples are when abusers are in restaurants and they are rude to wait staff or they are a guest in someone’s home and expect special meals. They see themselves as superior over others so they make unreasonable demands on you , expecting you to put everything aside to meet their needs. They will not be satisfied no matter how hard you try because they lack empathy by dismissing your feelings and needs. See this short video on 6 Signs of A Toxic Person In Your Life.
Is Facebook Helping or Hurting You?
If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass. -Warren Buffett Are you allowing Facebook bullies to abuse you? If you are feeling negative emotions when you view Facebook, recognize it and do something else that makes you feel good. Tuning into positive mindful thoughts and finding something you can be thankful for each day, is a healthier choice. Choose to do things in your life that help you. See this link on bullying help. https://www.mhanational.org/sites/default/files/BACK%20TO%20SCHOOL%202014%20-%20What%20To%20Do%20If%20You%20Are%20Being%20Bullied.pdf
Abuse is a choice. Bullying is a choice.
As Elinor Greenberg, Psychologist said in Quora, the more empathetic a person, the less likely to see dangerous people until abused or broken. Abusers need control over victims to feel powerful since they have a fragile sense of self. Narcissists/Sociopaths are highly envious of others and materialistic. Co-Dependents live in denial of the abusers selfish or malicious motives. Co-Dependents are naive thinking if they keep being generous and kind, everything will eventually be okay. It’s never enough for the abuser. Abusers use shame on empaths to devalue them. When you feel like you can’t stand up for yourself with your abuser, hear what Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”https://verywellmind.com/identify-and-cope-with-emotional-abuse-4156673?
What is Co-dependency or being Lovesick?
Co-dependency is emotional illness. When paired with depression lasting more than 2 weeks and/or anxiety which alters the way you live & work by accomodation/medication, told is mental illness. Co-dependents or Highly Sensitive People attract abusers. People who are highly empathetic, try to rescue others and do not care enough for themselves. To survive, everyone needs some narcissism but Co-Dependents don’t have enough. A narcissist will demand that you give up everything to be their nothing. Co-dependents have difficulty walking away from this abuse because it may be all they have ever known since childhood. People will not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. If a Narcissist can’t control you, the punishment will be swift. Abusers can spot Co-dependents . Highly sensitive people are people pleasers. Co-dependents think that abusers can change and may even feel sorry for them. Co-dependents blame themselves for others bad behavior and Narcissists play the victim well. Abusers always say they are the victim of someone or something. Might sound odd, but realize you may have a problem if you can’t take the last piece of pizza. See this short video on recognizing Narcissistic abuse.
Gaslighting: Mentally Destructive Psychological Abuse
If you are a highly empathetic, passive person and have a hard time standing up for yourself, you will be more vulnerable to Gaslighting. Sociopaths/Malignant Narcissists use this strategy over time to control people. When you wish you had recorded the conversation to determine if what you heard, was actually what was said, equals Gaslighting. Abusers want you to question your own reality, to put the blame on you for their bad behavior. If they have no empathy for others, they instead project that on to you, that you don’t have empathy. The most common phrases I have heard from abusers, “I didn’t say that, why would I say that,” “I was just kidding,” “You’re crazy, too over-sensitive,” “You’re the martyr.” They lie so you don’t realize you’re being brainwashed and controlled. Abusers do this slowly, over time as seen by Cult Leaders and Dictators. Abusers also lie to get people against you. If you’re not a liar, difficult for you to understand why someone would make up stories about someone else. Abusers care about how they appear to others so look at their actions, not their words. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting?eml